Blood and Death The gentleness of the Moon
by Ramona T
Summary: It's a short story in two parts   one shot  . It is a point of view about what happened after the last episode of the second series of Vampire Knight   Guilty  . Yuuki sees herself trapped in a life she does not accept...
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This is my first fiction ever published in English and it is my first time on this site. Anyway, the story that follows its an one shot in two parts. I am sorry if my English is a little disturbing, English is not my mother tongue so I still have some problems. I promise I will correct the mistakes I see!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Vampire Knight series. This is just pure fiction based on the manga/anime Vampire Knight and it is all the the result of my creepy mind.

note: the story is written from Yuuki`s point of view, I hope you like it. It's a little bit dramatic, I suppose... anyhow, the story contains my idea of what would happen in the anime, after the last episode of the second series, after Kaname, Yuuki, Hanabusa and Ruka leave the Cross Academy.  
>I hope you enjoy it!<p>

**Vampire Knight**

**ONE SHOT**

**YUUKI**

**BLOOD AND DEATH**  
><strong>THE GENTLENESS OF THE MOON<strong>

First part

_I am a vampire. I cannot cry in front of others, because I must not show my weakness. As a pure blood I have to confine my feelings and to be strong. _

_But how can I do such sort of a thing when I lived so much years of my life as a human being?_

Yuuki… what are you thinking about?

My brother, Kaname, is a very gentle person…

"Person?" is too much to be said, I suppose. Vampires are not human, so they can not be called persons, do they?

I could not remember seeing this expression of his. He has a light smile on his face, gentle as his gestures were and his always-sad eyes were now covered in a bright pallor. He did not look the same as he did when we were at Cross Academy. He seemed to be happier than I ever saw him.

Nothing important, brother… I was just recalling some moments from my past life. I was thinking about Father and Mother right now… I wish they didn't sacrifice themselves for my well-being…

I shook my head. What was I thinking, again? I must not make my brother feel bad ever again! Much had he had to endure these 10 years while I did not recognize him, so much love he has to offer me… it almost scares me how addictive he got to me.

Why am I being unsatisfied and selfish? I think only about myself, I wish I was with Zero right now. I love my brother, I always had… but being a vampire is something I am not fond of; I don not with to drink blood, I do not with to be hunted and to live this miserable existence.

This smile of my brother, it is something I always dream of. The way he holds my hands… it would have made me tremble, past ago… But now, I can not feel the same heart-shaking feeling I would have felt in the past. I feel affection for him, I recognize him as my older brother and I truly love him.  
>But he is family and I can not go back to my romantic feelings for him.<p>

I told him I had always been in love with him… but, it is true? Have I always been in love with this man who is in front of me, right now? Have I always dreamed of touching his soft skin, to kiss him on these gentle lips and to tell him how much I love him? Did I ever wish to live all my life with him?

Perhaps… Perhaps I did. I cannot remember my former life. It is past, it is human. I am not human anymore.  
>Can I love Kaname the way I used to? Can I?<p>

I wonder while I look at his soft expression.

What's the matter, Yuuki? He asks again, getting scared because of my blank expression.

Nothing… nothing at all, Kaname. Let's go. Hanabusa and Ruka must've wait for us, right now. We have to get going, the moon is arising…

It was dark outside… we were creatures of the night. I remember the first sunshine I had as a vampire and I recall those non-gentle rays under my skin… I used to love the sunrise, but now I can not endure it anymore…

Ok, come on, Yuuki…

Kaname got a hold of my hand and I walked beside him on the street. I can not remember how many hotels have we changed until now. We move through cities and we can not stay anywhere. I could ask Kaname where are we wondering too… but I am too afraid by his possible answer. I am afraid he will say that we are really heading to somewhere… somewhere where we could live all our lives.  
>And I am scared of that. I am scared to live as a monster.<p>

Hm? What is it, Hanabusa?

Yuuki-sama! Wake up!

As a vampire, I could tell what time of the day it was, and I could certainly say it was noon.

Why did you wake me up, Hanabusa? I am a little tired… I hope Kaname doesn't need me for anything right now, last night was quite tiring…

I opened my eyes and looked at his frightened face. He stood on my bed and his hands where on my shoulders. He probably had a big time trying to wake me up… which meant that there wasn't something to joke about.

Something serious had happened. That was the thought that wandered trough my mind.

Wake up! Please. Ruka… Ruka was killed. I can not find Kaname, either. The hunters… the hunters are coming after us. We have to run, Yuuki. I swore to Kaname that I would protect you, and I will… please!

His voice was scared, his eyes were full of hate and inquietude… he was rather impulsive, I knew that. I wondered why wasn't I too affected by those news… Ruka was killed. I was not to fond of her… I knew that I hated her because of her love for my older brother.

But what happened to Kaname? I arose immediately from my bed and changed my clothes. I didn't even try to scream at Hanabusa to get out, because he turned his face around. He couldn't get out, I assumed, he was too scared to leave me alone. What happened, I wondered in my head… this was serious business. Why was I so selfish? Ruka was killed, but why? Where was Kaname? What has happened to him? He couldn't have been killed – I would have felt it, I would know immediately because of the bond that was created between us…

What has happened? I requested to know while we were heading out of the hotel. The day light wasn't gentle at all...

I told you, Yuuki-sama! The hunters that were chasing us… he silenced for a moment. I did not know anything about any hunters, and now he managed to understand that.

What hunters, Hanabusa?

Silence. He could not tell anything, I understood. Those were orders from Kaname…

My older brother… where was he? I could not feel his presence anywhere, but I knew he was alive. He ought to be, at least… I could not live as a monster in this world without him. I had a lot of questions to ask him… about my parents, about the reason they wanted to keep me so badly… I had to tell my older brother how much I loved him, even though only as a brother…

In my head, I kept screaming for his name. I was running with Hanabusa, trying to keep my tears closed, thinking about Kaname. Ruka was killed by some hunters I did not now. Why was she killed?

They wanted to kill you, Yuuki-sama… but they missed the room, so they got Ruka. I don't know what has happened to Kaname… but I have to protect you. They want to kill you…

I stopped from running, for a moment. I was shocked to hear these things from Hanabusa, but more shocked I was because of the smell…

I stopped, with tears in my eyes. My heart was beating too fast and I could not keep up with it. My head hurt, my chest hurt… I turned around and saw the blood I have smelt. Immediately, I leaned over Kaname's body.

He was not dead…

His face was paler that ever and his eyes were truly happy when he saw my face… I could not help the tears flowing from my eyes.

Kaname! Kaname! Kaname… what happened, my sweet older brother… what happened? Do not leave me, please… I screamed with all my heart, though I knew, I felt in my heart he could not survive, not anymore.

I love you, Yuuki… he said with those gentle lips of him, his expression was serious and happy, though I could see the pain engraved on his face…

Kaname… I tried to scream his name, but it came only as a whisper…

I do not wish to leave you, my sweet Yuuki… but I can not survive… I cannot. Can you do me a favor, I please you? I shook my head in an affirmative way. I was not capable to talk. Tears were desperately flowing on my cheeks while he asked me: Suck my blood, hug me, kiss me, Yuuki.

I leaned over him… my heart was shaking while I covered his lips with my mouth and my hands were embracing him… my fangs bit his neck while his hands were resting on my back… my tears were now mixed with his blood, I could feel only sadness in my heart and I could not see anything anymore but the face of my beloved brother dieing in my hands…

- Those were 3 favors, traitor… you swore to protect me forever. Why did you left me?

Even though I said these words out loud, I knew he could not hear me because… he was dead already.


	2. Chapter 2

Part two

_I wonder what happens with a vampire after he dies… Humans say that a soul will remain forever in life. That there was eternity after the death of a body…_

_But vampires are not humans. And they do not believe in fairy tails, even though they – we – are some sort of fairy tails for humans…_

_- Hanabusa… Hanabusa_! I cried out loud, full of hate.

_- Yuuki… Yuuki-sama…_ he whispered. He was crying. I could feel it. He couldn't get close to Kaname's body, and now it was too late. He was dead, he was covered in ashes. Nothing from his body has remained. It was like he did not even exist…

_- Who? Who did this? Do you know?_

I asked him in a loud voice, hatred. He shook his head, though I was not looking at him, I knew the gesture.

_- Come on, we are living._

Nothing could I show now. There is no further reason for me to be alive. There is no further reason for me to be a monster. Why don't I suicide myself?

I know why… because the thought of revenging my older brother were stronger than anything else. I loved him, I really did. In a way that no one could explain. I could feel his blood in my veins, his touch on my skin, his hands on my hair… and also, his soft fangs on my neck. He only had me, and I only had him. We were made for each other. I was to become someone with whom he would be his entire existence. And he would be happy. He would smile to me in a gentle way and call out my name…

I was still crying in my heart. Now, he was gone. He has left me…

_- Where are we going? _Hanabusa asked me in a low voice.

He could not cope with it. I have never saw Hanabusa crying and I knew he was impulsive, but never did I thought I would see tears flowing from his eyes.

_- Do not be childish, Hanabusa. We are not supposed to. Kaname would be ashamed of you. You ought to protect me… because_ – I turned around and faced him. My eyes were shimmering, my voice was deep and my hate could be read on my face – _because, we are to revenge my older brother._

He said nothing but his tears stopped and he walked beside me.

_- I swore to protect you, he whispered, and to serve you as much as I served Kaname._

_- I know_, I answered.

And then, there was a silence. We could not say anything anymore. We were cold hearted. Our heads hurt because of the sun and our blood was the only living thing in our entities. We have loved Kaname in the same desperate way, and now that he was gone, we felt empty…

It was night, already. We wondered through the city all day and we were tired, but we could not sleep. We were afraid to sleep, because we did not want to get killed. At least, not before we would've revenged Kaname Kuran.

We stopped in a forest and the moon was shining over us. It was a really shining night. People ought to feel scared because of this detail, I assumed… but we felt at ease, the moon gave us strength, it erased all the pain that the sun made us go through…

_- Those hunters… who are they exactly?_

I asked Hanabusa. We were posted in a tree… It was an odd thing to do, but we felt at ease like this, seeing every single step, we could hear better any noisy.

_- Kiryuu Zero… Kaname-sama did not think we are to meet with him. He knew he would go look for us; but he felt it, some days ago, that someone was chasing us. I knew he had a plan, but I do not know what it was… and now, we could not ever now what he planned to do, but just that _– he clenched his teeth – _he failed…_

What? Zero? Zero… has? No! it is not possible. I did not smelt him on Kaname. He could not have done it, I would have known it because of the bond that is created between me and him, and Kaname…

_- Zero did not kill Kaname, Hana. I know that. I can tell that. Somebody else did._

We were again covered in silence. He believed me. He knew that I was right. But why did my chest hurt, anyway? I told Zero that I will be waiting for him to haunt me, to kill me. Deep down, inside me, I wish to be killed by his hands… I have a feeling of wild passion for him and I love him, I know, in a different way that I loved Kaname. For Kaname I felt soft emotions, I was very fond of him, in every way… I had the most pure feeling for him.

But Zero was the lover I ought to have… I always thought that, after I departed from Cross Academy. I could feel in his blood that he loved me. Could he not feel the same thing from my blood?

But did I felt this way all the time?

And more importantly, what connection was there between him and the murderer of Kaname? There were not much beasts that could have killed my brother if there were none!

_- Hanabusa… I was thinking_, my tone was shaking, as was my entire entity…_ why if… Why if Rido is not dead?_

My words crossed all the forest because of the wind that took them away. Hanabusa could not say anything, he was quiet, shocked by my assumption.

_- But if he were alive, could you not feel it?_

I sighed. I was tired of being a vampire. I wanted to be normal again. I wanted my humanity back… it was too hard to cope up with this feelings, with the non-normality of these facts.

Being a vampire it's depressing.

_- I don't know, Hanabusa, I don't know anything anymore…_

After a wait of five minutes of silence, while I thought about problems and Hanabusa thought about problems as well, sighing in a row, he asked me to go to sleep.

_- I will look after you, he promised. _

But I could not sleep even though I closed my eyes. My thought would go back to Kaname, to what happened and I was rather more shocked now, than I've been in the being moment. He was dead… the man whom I loved so much, the one who saved me all the time. The Kaname that I loved for all these years was dead. I had him and I could not cherish him at his true value. I was stupid, naïve. And now it was too late to appreciate what he has done for me… he could not hear me anymore.

An odd noisy made me open my eyes. I smelt the air, the wind was still blowing a little, the moon was high on the sky and the atmosphere was full of dust.

_- Hanabusa!_ I whispered that he could be the only one hearing me. He came near me in a second.

_- What? He asked, flurried._

_- The hunters… no... Kiryuu Zero is here._

He widened his eyes and clenched his teeth. His hate was too much to understand, but I could not have the same feeling as he had. I kept wandering what would I do if I'd found out that Zero killed Kaname?

I knew, deep down in my soul that I was not capable of murdering Zero with my own hands and power…

_- Go out, you filthy –dirty pure blood vampires! _

A voice that I did not know was heard. I saw a man whom I didn't see until then and the scent I felt was terrifying…

_- Hana… Hanabusa… _I whispered, but he was too impressed, too scared to say anything.  
>The smelt that man had on him was Rido's. But he was not Rido, I could tell. He had a mix of smells, the same as I found on Kaname's body and the scent of Rido…<p>

He was not dead. He was not dead. He… he was not… dead.

I was at a white heat. I couldn't bare it anymore… this feeling of sadness and loneliness. I could not control my powers anymore. I ran, as I never did before and I was in front of this man in just a second. It took me just another second to see his stupid smile and his ugly face, he wanted to kill me, but he couldn't. In the same second, I dug my hand – my jaw – in his had. He was covered by his own blood. I had no desire to drink it, it made me sick… He died in the same second and I could not feel anything for him. No mercy, no sadness, no angriness. He meant nothing to me… I was not shocked to kill him.

That means that… I really am a monster.

_- Yuuki_…

I heard the so-familiar voice of Zero. Hanabusa was behind him, trying to attack.

_- Hana! Stop!_ I ordered him in a loud and scared voice. It was the pure blood power, he had to listen to me.

_- Zero… Zero… I tried to talk, but I did not have any words_.

_- I promised I will hunt you, and I came. Where is Kaname Kuran? _He yelled, looking at Hanabusa.

He looked skinnier that he was the last time I've seen him. His face was pale, his gray eyes where shining because of the sadness that covered them. He was as beautiful as I could remember and his scent made me dizzy…

- _Kaname was murdered,_ I said in a low voice, looking at him. I was foreign to him, I could feel that. There was another connection between us right now, something that we did not experience till now. But all the old feelings we had were dead. Our past was dead. Though… the love I had for him was still alive. And I knew he felt the same, I could hear his heart beating, his blood flowing in his veins…

I wanted to tell him I missed him. I wanted to tell him a lot of things… to make him understand that he means everything to me. I wanted to scream to him that I needed him more than anything else in the world, because I was lonely. I wanted to tell him that he looked so good, that I wanted to eat him up…

But I did not. I did not, in concern of my older brother. I could not betray his memory and his love.

_- You came here to haunt me down and to kill me, Kiryuu Zero?_

Even though my heart was crying, I could not let that feeling to be shown on my face. I looked as cold as ice. Zero's expression almost made me shake. His face was covered in pain and hate; hate for the person in front of him; that was me.

_- Yes._

What will happen after you die? I kept asking myself while I wondered if I should protect myself in anyway… but it was too fast to even think about it. Zero's gun was on my chest, he pulled the trigger in just a second, while looking into my eyes. Shot after shot, until my body was covered in blood and the tears were flowing from my eyes…

I could feel no pain and no emotions. My soul was trapped in a portal that was not human, not beast, not anything. It was immortal and filled with darkness.

I could understand, while I looked at Zero's shocked face. I was dieing, already. He didn't think I would not protect myself… neither did I. I thought I could hurt him, but I was not capable of anything like that… In the end, I loved him too much, all my humanity was confined in his existence… I was not to love him, but I was not to hurt him either. I could read in Hanabusa's expression that he will hunt Zero to death, and he will kill him, most probably…

Tears were flowing from both Zero's and Hanabusa's eyes while mine were closing forever. The pain was not felt by my body anymore and I was walking through a path filled with darkness.

_- Welcome, Princess_, a voice that I did not know covered the darkness around me.

Vampire's souls go to Hell…

**THE END**


End file.
